Could stress and overwhelm be causing relationship problems?

Let’s get real for a moment sister – You’re sitting (virtually) across from me at my cosy kitchen table with a cup of tea. We’re having an honest, heart-to-heart convo… You’re telling me you are doing OK. Work is great and the kids are good. You’re really busy juggling a lot of things, but everything’s under control. Yet… You’re a little worried because you’re seeing cracks in your relationship…You’re noticing those warning signs you hear about, like simmering resentment and frustration and constant arguments about the same little things… These signs keep showing up and you just can’t ignore them anymore… Sometimes it’s like, “um … why is this person in my life again?” You’re missing that feeling of being connected and engaged with the most important person in your life. Why are you feeling this way? Is it you? Is it them? Deep down inside, you know that you just can’t keep going the way you’ve been going …Things […]

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How to relax into the new year with ease and confidence – guilt-free!

Whew sister! You know I love the holidays, aaaand I’m always glad when they’re over! It’s a time when –  if I’m not careful – I can lose myself in everybody else’s “stuff.” And let me tell you, there was a time when I did that a lot – I lost myself for years, in fact. Here’s what it looks like: Going through the motions of the day-to-day, with no joy or sense of control Living on autopilot like life is happening TO you instead of you DIRECTING it. Ever hear that phrase, “life leading you by the nose?” Uh-huh. Any of this resonate?? Having a thriving career and a happy home life (at the same time) can be hard. You’re expected to give 100% at work, 100% to your family, 100% to your partner, 100% to your community, 100% to your social life… …You can see, can’t you, that this is NOT adding up? I’m telling […]

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How Seasons & Cycles Influence Happiness, Balance & Success

I just wrapped up another episode of The Empowered Woman With Akanke where the focus was How Seasons & Cycles Influence Happiness, Balance & Success Join me and my guest, Kate Marolt (katemarolt.com) an embodiment coach, speaker, and teacher, and the founder of Body Liberation School for an insightful conversation about the seasons and cycles we experience throughout the year and how they directly influence your level of success. This is for you sister. So grab a cup of tea, glass of wine or just listen-in on your commute as Kate and I share insights, ahas, laughter and valuable information you can apply in your personal and professional life, starting…NOW! Listen here! Your partner in life design, Akanke   Follow Akanke on Twitter, @Akanke_Adefunmi, Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/claimyourshero

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Do you suffer from perfectionitis?

Is this you – A smart, savvy, spiritual, ambitious career woman who wants to take life by the [fill in the blanks] and thrive? Yes, I know you are! You’ve got it together – great career, beautiful home, wonderful relationships and lifestyle. You juggle a lot of balls with your multiple responsibilities: mother, wife/partner, household, full-time career, community involvement, social life, travel, etc. You pride yourself on being in control of it all, handling everything, well, perfectly. Yet… you begin to notice that things just keep piling on and nothing seems to drop off. Your to-do list is never done. Things are beginning to feel less in control and you are beginning to feel more stressed-out. It’s becoming harder to focus and follow through on all that you have going on…so those balls you’re juggling are dropped because you’re physically and mentally exhausted. But it’s so hard to let go of anything. You can handle […]

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Starting 2018 with the same-old-same-ole? Try this instead

Yes, it’s that time of year again – looking back at another year of life, what worked for you and what didn’t. It sounds old-school, but I love this time of year for checking-in with myself. Starting the new year fresh with new eyes and great plans! So, let’s do it …Are you seeing the results in your home life and career that you want to have? That could mean feeling stress-free and grounded as you move throughout your day, having enough time for the people you love and yourself, or maybe it means having a career that’s fulfilling and doing work that makes a difference in the world. If so, that’s awesome! If not, it may be time to STOP with the same-ole-same-ole – to change your mind about some things. Here’s the thing: If you want things to be different, you must do something different. Old ways won’t open new doors. And as you know, when […]

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Why is it SO hard to say “No?”

If only you had more time – what would you do? Do you believe that saying “no” means you’re… Selfish? Not a team player? Not committed enough to your family, friends, community, (fill in the blank)? If so, you’re not alone. For way too many years I believed that I had to say “yes” to everyone else. I told myself things like: “This is for the family.” “This will prove that I’m a good friend/daughter/wife/mother/colleague.”  “This is what I’m good at so of course I should help out.”So, I got weighed-down by all the roles, duties and expectations I never seemed to be able to meet. My to-do lists never got shorter and my husband (at the time) wasn’t pulling his weight with the house and kids.You know what happened? My “normal” became feeling overwhelmed, resentful and exhausted – and I was only in my early 30’s! I began thinking this was it – THIS was going […]

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Want more time and space in 2018?

If only you had more time – what would you do? My clients tell me, “I would… Be able to focus on one thing at a time, not feel constantly pressured to get the next thing done.” Cherish all the small things because things would move slower.” Have more fun by reading for pleasure, doing art, playing with my kids more.” Not feel so unrooted because I would have control over time.” Manifest my ideas because I wouldn’t get too overwhelmed and paralized to take action.” Set up a healthy exercise routine and stick to it!” Stop always “playing catch-up” and feel like I’m letting everyone down.” Not feel like I’m just trying to survive rather than thrive.” It seems like time is this fixed thing that is always too scarce, moves too fast, and tough to manage. What if I told you that TIME is controlling YOU? What if “I don’t have enough time!” isn’t […]

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Tired of feeling like you’re always playing catch-up?

Does it feel like you’re always running on that hamster wheel, never getting ahead of all the things you’re supposed to do? And running through your head is … I need to get this work done if I’m going to make my numbers this month … This to-do list is NOT getting any shorter and I’m exhausted already … I spend more time driving my kids around than having fun with them … When I get [fill in the blanks] done, THEN I’ll be happy … Sister, that hamster wheel won’t get you to “happy.” I know that hamster wheel well – running around and around thinking I was taking care of my work and my family, that I was getting ahead, that I was happy or at least on the way to feeling happier.  I kept thinking that if I just kept going, did more, did better, I would “get there.”   Then I […]

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What do you REALLY want in 2018?

Here is what women tell me they want: Learn to be a better professional by opening up and fearing less. Happy life with my kids, healthy loving relationship with a man. My career is personally, financially and professionally fulfilling. Time to enjoy my family and get projects done around the house. Reading books by the ocean in my house with no rent or mortgage payments. I would live a deliberate life making proactive decisions instead of reactive. Being valued as a creative soul and having the ability to express that. I want a meaningful lifestyle that satisfies who I am as a person. Peace and harmony at home. Every member thriving and achieving great things. Legacy – leave one! That matters and that is bigger than me. I am in absolute control of my own time. Work from anywhere I want to be and setting my own schedule. Wake up refreshed, meditate, move through the […]

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Want the answer to your guilt, anger and frustrations…it’s not what you think

Have you ever had someone say to you, “You’re too sensitive”, “I don’t know what you’re so angry about!”, or my favorite, “Women are just too emotional”? Have you ever felt guilty because you didn’t follow through on a promise, commitment or something you felt you should have?  If any of the above resonates with you, as either the giver or the receiver of the comment, you’re not alone. Actually, you’re like 7 billion+ others on the planet. You’re human.  Which leads me to this 2-part annoucement: 1)  I just had a dynamic and informative conversation with an Emotional Intelligence expert, Joie Seldon, M.A.. She says that a woman’s emotions are her biggest ally in her personal AND professional life. Did you know that guilt isn’t even an emotion, anger is a good thing and joy isn’t something we should strive to feel 24/7? Who knew! And Joie says there are simple things you can do everyday to […]

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