If only you had more time – what would you do?

Do you believe that saying “no” means you’re…

  • Selfish?
  • Not a team player?
  • Not committed enough to your family, friends, community, (fill in the blank)?

If so, you’re not alone. For way too many years I believed that I had to say “yes” to everyone else. I told myself things like: “This is for the family.” “This will prove that I’m a good friend/daughter/wife/mother/colleague.”  “This is what I’m good at so of course I should help out.”

So, I got weighed-down by all the roles, duties and expectations I never seemed to be able to meet. My to-do lists never got shorter and my husband (at the time) wasn’t pulling his weight with the house and kids.

You know what happened? My “normal” became feeling overwhelmed, resentful and exhausted – and I was only in my early 30’s! I began thinking this was it – THIS was going to be my life forever.

Are you someone who says “yes” then instantly regrets it?

Have you said “yes” to something you didn’t want to do because you felt guilty about saying “no?” This not only happens at home but also at the office, potentially undermining your career aspirations.

Are you stuck with to-do lists that are literally impossible to complete, day after day?

Are you looking at a “normal” that has you stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted, and resentful (even of the people you love most)?

Is this going to be YOUR permanent “normal?”

I say, hell no to that!  

For me, it took moving to 5 different homes, chronic pain in my neck (real, not metaphorical), 3 years of physical therapy, and a broken marriage for me to realize that saying “yes” was literally going to put me into an early grave if I didn’t do something about it.

Well, I sure wasn’t ready to die young – are you?? Nor was I willing to spend years talking about someday living an amazing life and having a successful career. I wanted that life and career NOW, not just living but thriving.  Vibrant. Energetic. Hopeful. Making things happen on my terms. Creating a meaningful lifestyle that wasn’t defined by my bad decisions.

So I had to change a few things (ok, more than a few). 

I shifted things on the inside and outside. And today I’m deeply grateful for my life. I have more energy than I have ever had, a flourishing career, and I know I’m in control of my life. When I say “yes” I mean it and when I say “no” it’s to things that aren’t going to serve me, my kids or my life’s work.

I’d like to save you some time – maybe even years on your life – by sharing how I did it and how you can too. Sound good?

How would it feel to be strong in your decision-making, to know clearly and confidently that you can say “yes” to things that bring you joy, and “no” to things that don’t serve you?

Let’s find out. Just click here, book a call on my calendar and we’ll talk about it. I’ll give you some surefire ways to let go of feeling drowned-out by all those “yesses,” to let go of the anxiety from thinking you have to do it all, to let go of the guilt that people won’t like you if you say “no” to them. Aaaaahhh… doesn’t it feel good already just to say it out loud? “Normal” doesn’t have to be the life of the stressed-out, overwhelmed, ungrounded, unfocused career woman.

You can change this and start living a life you love, NOW. 


Your partner in life design,



Follow Akanke on Twitter, @Akanke_Adefunmi, Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/claimyourshero

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